Aging Parents Present New Set
of Issues
Written August 4, 2003
Gwen Randall-Young
Aging parents present
a whole new set of issues for their children. Much
as we may want to bury our heads in the sand, denying
how much they are aging, or where that aging will
lead, there comes a time when we must face reality.
My parents have been tremendously helpful in assisting
their four children to do this. Years ago, my father
used to joke about spending our inheritance. He
would tell us that one day, all that was his would
be ours. We tended to ‘shush’ him, because
we did not want to think about the time he and our
mother would not be here. As the years went by,
they both took great pains to have everything in
order, including what they wanted to happen to their
bodies after they died.
It was never comfortable talking about this, but
they insisted we listen. They gave us copies of
all important documents, including their wills.
They have ensured we know where they have accounts,
safety deposit boxes and investments. Just recently,
we arranged for all the children and most of the
grandchildren to spend a long weekend with them.
It was precious time for all of us, because we never
know if it will happen again.
There was much warmth,
reminiscing and laughter. Once again, my father
sat his children down, and reviewed the ‘final’
plans. I could see that it was comforting for him
and my mother to do this. This time, we were able
to have the discussion in a very matter-of-fact
way. By dealing with the practicalities as they
have over the years, they have prepared us for what
is to come. In the process, they have set an example
of how, in time, we must prepare our own children.
We have guided them throughout their lives, and
preparing them for our deaths is, I believe, the
last great gift we give them. That done, we are
all free to cherish each new day we are able to
share.
******
Gwen Randall-Young
is a Chartered Psychologist in private practice.
She is the author of the books Dancing Soul: The
Voice of Spirit Evolving, Echoes Through Time: A
Message of Healing for Men, and Baby Soul: A Blessing
of Spirit, and audiocassettes Healing the Past:
A Meditation for Wholeness, and After Recess: (a
relaxation tape for the elementary classroom.),
A World of Kindness: Experiencing Personal and Global
Harmony www.gwen.ca gwendall@shaw.ca
