If we find ourselves constantly being upset by others, it may be that we are reactive. Being reactive means others can push our buttons, leaving us feeling angry or hurt. We tend to blame others for doing this to us, but in reality, we need to change how we interpret events and how we respond to them. When we are reactive, we are acting in accordance with past history or beliefs. Thus, we cannot break the patterns of our past, and nothing changes in the quality of our lives.This is why we may have the same conflicts repeatedly with the same person, be it a parent, child, partner or in-law.Being reactive may give us a sense of taking control of the situation, but in fact, our old patterning is controlling us. It is when we learn to respond thatwe begin to take control of our lives and the situations that have been driving us to distraction. Responding requires that we become aware of different choices we could make, and the outcomes of those choices. Then we choose the response that will create the desired outcome. This is not an easy process, but it can be learned.

If you are stuck in old patterns, it might be worth getting a little professional guidance. The positive impact on relationships makes it well worth the effort.

 

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Gwen Randall-Young is a Chartered Psychologist in private practice.She is the author of the books Dancing Soul: The Voice of Spirit Evolving, Echoes Through Time: A Message of Healing for Men, and Baby Soul: A Blessing of Spirit, and audiocassettes Healing the Past: A Meditation for Wholeness, and
After Recess: (a relaxation tape for the elementary classroom.),
A World of Kindness: Experiencing Personal and Global HarmonyGwen Randall-Young
Chartered Psychologist
www.gwen.ca