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When Life Challenges Us

Psychology for Living Written February 16, 2004
Gwen Randall-Young

What is it that makes the difference between being a “survivor” or a “victim” when life challenges us? I reflected upon this recently and came to the conclusion that it was having a sense of self-sufficiency in life. Self-sufficiency means the ability to supply one’s own needs.

The development of this quality begins in early childhood, and comes naturally to humans. Think of the two-year old who adamantly insists, “I do it myself!” It starts with feeding oneself, dressing oneself, and progresses to learning to read to oneself.

Children should be encouraged to practice self-sufficiency at every stage—that means we do not do things for them that they are capable of doing themselves. They can learn to help with meal preparation, doing laundry and cleaning. They can help with grocery shopping, and washing the car.

As they get older they can prepare meals and learn to change the oil in their car. By the age of fifteen or sixteen they should begin some part time work. They should be taught how to save—even to invest. They also could be responsible for purchasing some of their own products.

Children who are raised to be self-sufficient develop confidence and positive self-esteem. They grow up to be productive adults who take responsibility for their lives, their needs and their finances. They will not collapse under stress looking around for someone to bail them out. Parenting for self-sufficiency creates strong individuals and a strong society.

Gwen Randall-Young is a Chartered Psychologist in private practice. www.gwen.ca