Teens Words Can Hurt Too

 

I have often written articles stressing the powerful impact a parent’s words can have on children. A negative message may be held in consciousness for a lifetime. One of my faithful readers contacted me, and suggested I write something about the impact of an adolescent’s words on a parent. I thought this was an excellent suggestion.

 

            Teens often become angry and frustrated with parents. Sometimes this anger is a result of having been hurt by something the parents have said. At the moment, it seems justifiable to strike out at the parent, and to say something very hurtful.

 

            Adolescents can be very aware of a parent’s vulnerable spots. A hurtful comment, whether intentional or not, can feel like a knife in the parent’s heart. Even if the teen  apologizes later, saying he/she did not mean it, the parent will always think there must have been some truth to it.

 

            It is safe to say that most parent’s love their children. In most cases when they say “no” to a request, it is because they believe they are protecting their child. When they get after them to do chores or take care of things, it is because they want their children to grow into responsible adults.

 

            Bottom line is we should strive not to hurt the people we love, even if we are angry.

After all these years, the golden rule still seems best: Do unto others as  you would have them do unto you.

 

 

 

Gwen Randall-Young is an author and Chartered Psychologist in private practice. She is the recipient of the Psychologist’s Association of Alberta John G. Paterson award (2003) for excellence in portraying psychological knowledge to the public. Visit her website wwww.gwen.ca or contact her directly: gwendall@shaw.ca Books and CDS available online.