Life's Many
Addictions We are hearing a lot about addictions
these days. It used to be a word that applied to drug or alcohol
dependency, but has now been expanded so that we hear of people
being addicted to food, to love, to expectations, to clothes, money,
exercise, and the list goes on. Some "addictions" are seen as
positive, and others are seen as dysfunctional.
The problem
with generalizing the usage of a word like this is that it can be
very disempowering. Addiction implies a situation over which we have
no conscious control. When we call a habit an addiction, we are
saying that there is little we can do about it: we are controlled by
the habit.
Let's look at some concrete examples. Consider
smoking, overeating or high cholesterol levels. These are all
factors which influence health directly, and ultimately, lifespan.
Many individuals, upon recognizing the threat to their wellbeing,
make a decision to quit smoking, lose weight, or lower cholesterol
levels. They then proceed either on their own, or with outside help,
to follow through on this decision, and often the change is
permanent.
For others though, changing unhealthy habits can
be a lifelong struggle. They may say that they've tried, and just
can't seem to change. Perhaps they feel that their addiction is too
strong, or that they just don't have enough willpower. They may try
for a while, quit smoking for a few months, lose 10 pounds, cut out
some high cholesterol foods, but then gradually drift back into the
old habits. This confirms for them that they don't have enough
willpower, and that the addiction is stronger than they
are.
This kind of thinking, however, is a way of avoiding
responsibility for one's own health. And ultimately it may cover up
the fact that the person does not really want to give up old habits.
On a deeper level it may reflect anxiety and insecurity about life.
One might prefer immediate short term pleasure that is certain, over
caring for oneself in ways that might contribute to a longer life,
which may not be so certain.
Our life expectancy now is
longer than ever before, so it makes sense to opt for vibrant good
health. If this is the choice we make on a very deep, life
affirming level, then ALL of our habits begin to shift in that
direction. This is what empowers our will. So let's
change the way we understand willpower. You can have as much
of it as you want when you stop saying "I can't" and start saying "I
will". When you put all of your power behind your will, you
can accomplish just about anything. And no short term pleasure
can match the long term rewards of feeling energetic and fit at any
age.
Gwen
Randall-Young is an author and award-winning Psychotherapist.
For permission to reprint this article, or to obtain books or cds,
visit www.gwen.ca
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