Watch What You Say
"You can tell more about a person by what
he says about others than you can by what others say about him."
~Leo Aikman
Have you ever noticed that really nice people never have a bad word
to say about anyone. No doubt they have the same frustrations with
family, neighbors and co-workers as everyone else, but they have
decided to approach life differently.
First of all, they strive to avoid being critical or judgmental:
they let a lot of things go, and try to see the best in others.
Secondly, they do not replay in their
minds or with others the faults or perceived wrongdoings of others.
Each day is a new day and they do not hold grudges.
These people experience a lot less
stress, and in general tend to be happier with themselves and their
lives. They live in the same world as the rest of us, but it is all
a matter of perspective.
Contrast this with the person whose conversation focuses almost
exclusively on those he or she does not like. Some are so critical
and judgmental they will even speak badly of those they actually do
like.
These people tend to be highly stressed, have a lot of anger, are
unhappy with themselves and their lives. They also tend to create a
lot of turmoil with others because they always have issues with
them.
This negativity is ubiquitous in our society, particularly among
females, unfortunately. Just look at girls starting in grade five or
six, and notice how much of their conversation centers on gossip.
Where did they learn to do this? No doubt they overheard mom talking
with a friend or on the telephone.
This kind of negative talk becomes dangerous now that children have
access to the internet. Untold damage can be caused to others by
placing mean comments or rumors on the web, where they can remain
forever.
It is time we looked at the content of our conversations, and even
our minds. How much space and time is spent tearing others
down? This serves absolutely no purpose. It is like a flu
virus that makes us sick, and we can spread it to others and make
them sick
too.
Just like using hand sanitizers to prevent the spread of disease, we
may need to think in terms of "sanitizing" our thoughts and our
words. The world would be much cleaner and healthier.
Gwen
Randall-Young is an author and award-winning Psychotherapist.
For permission to reprint this article, or to obtain books or cds,
visit www.gwen.ca |
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